Barbara Walters voiceover and opening segment b-roll montage:
At 105 years old, Joop could pass for someone half his age.
His longevity is no doubt a result of his long and close association with billionaire recluse, Alvar Hanso…
and the brilliant science team, the Dr.’s Degroot…
and from Joop’s continuing daily practice of Tai Chi and Eastern meditation.
Celebrated everywhere he travels, and known for his fabulous, jet set life style,
in person Joop is surprisingly modest for all his accomplishments. He is gentle, spiritual, down to earth, and very relaxed. Must be all the yoga.
We joined Joop in his luxuriously appointed thread,
and conversed with him through his sign language interperter and personal assistant, BG.
Interview begins---library--- 
Barbara Walters:
So, Joop, how does it feel to become a celebrity at your age, after being born into such humble circumstances and living in obscurity for more than a century.
Joop: 
I’m just grateful to be here, Barbara, very grateful. And I’m blessed with good friends and good health. What more can a man ask, at any age? And I’m sorry about the Tai Chi class already being filled up when you wanted to join. I always look out for my friends, the Joopers, first.
Barbara Walters: You mentioned the Joopers. Who are they? How did they become your friends?
Joop: The Joopers? I can’t really explain them – I doubt if anyone can. They were a group of curious researchers at first, I suppose, who later became fans, and then eventually my friends. My hectic schedule keeps me away much of the time, however, so I don’t get to spend as much time with the Joopers as I would like. But I love them dearly, each and every one, despite the amount of tinfoil they use.
Barbara Walters: You were born and spent your first years in the jungle. Of all the trees in the jungle, what kind of tree would you be?
Joop: Trees? Are we talking about wood? I have to say, Barbara, if you want to discuss wood, you’re a very attractive woman, especially in that off the shoulder dress.
Barbara Walters: (blushing) Why thank you, Joop.
Joop: May I call you Babs?
Barbara Walters: Well, I guess so. Why not! Now tell me, Joop, how long have you known the mysterious billionaire recluse, Alvar Hanso, and is it true that you have your own Swiss Bank Account?
Joop: So where were you born, Babs? Notice I didn’t say when, as anyone can tell you’re not a day over thirty. And your shoulder easily could pass for twenty-five.
BG glares at Joop.
Barbara Walters: You’re too kind, Joop…giggles and blushes…that’s very sweet…fumbles with microphone…that’s really sweet…But can you tell our viewers the secret to your longevity? Everyone wants to know about the mysterious Zanzibar project, and about this rumored Lost Island. What happened when Alvar Hanso---
Joop: Zanzibar? Oh yes! Zanzibar! That’s the nightclub with the zebra striped walls and the torches and the constant pounding drumming. The place where Paris climbed over the bar, peeled off her tiny pink panties, and went wee wee in the bar sink that one night! Babs! What a delightfully surprising woman you are!
Rapid sign languaging back and forth between Joop and BG.
Barbara Walters: What? What’s going on?
Joop: It’s all set, Babs, I’ll call ahead and reserve the VIP room with the heavy duty vines, and a case of their finest champagne. Do you like oysters on the half shell? It’s an R month, but I’m sure you know that, you beautiful wicked wench. Slides closer to Babs. Do you know about the mural in their men’s room? I can sneak you in.
Joop turns to BG: Call the car! I want it here immediately!
BG signs furiously but Joop ignores it.
Barbara Walters: I have a car and driver outside. Fluffs and messes up her hair How’s this Joop? How far is the Zanzibar from here?
BG leaps up. Joop leaps up. More furious sign languaging between Joop and BG.
BG and Joop both sit back down.
Joop: Forgive my impertinence, Ms. Walters. You were asking about longevity and the Hanso Foundation?
Barbara Walters: Hanso? Alvar Hanso? Is he going to be at the Zanzibar!? Is he as rich as everyone claims? Turns head and barks over her shoulder Hair! Makeup! I need a touchup! Now!
Joop: Hanso? Alvar Hanso? Why are you asking about that old stiff? He walks around with his feet in Kleenex boxes to avoid germs. What about me? A moment ago you were practically slurping raw oysters off my---
Barbara Walters: You? oh yeah, you---
Joop leaps up
Joop: Cut! Stop the cameras! This interview is over! I take back everything I said. You’re not beautiful, you look like Larry King in drag!”
Joop storms out.
BG: Joop! Please! Oh dear me…
Barbara Walters brushes off hair and makeup assistants and turns aggressively to BG.
Barbara Walters: So is it true that Joop is close friends with Arnold Schwarzenneger? I hear he’s got a Swiss Bank Account the size of Cape Cod, bigger than Nantucket---
BG: Cut! Cut! Chuck! Help!!! Get her out of here!!!
*All Joop photos courtesy of the very talented Lucky4me8.
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